Modest is Hottest?

Note: I am well aware of the Church's teaching on modest dress. I do not disagree with it in any way, shape, or form. I do, however, believe that it can be taken to extremes. This post expresses those beliefs.

Since getting my body back into shape, most of my clothes are a bit too big. I finally got some jeans that fit (but even those will need to be smaller soon. Nothing is more unattractive than baggy jeans.) I have been slowly replacing pieces of my wardrobe as I see things that are on sale or that I like. I mean, we're not making millions so I can't just afford to run and out buy a magnificent wardrobe every time I lose weight. So I'm trying to wait it out a bit.

But our five year anniversary is coming up in less than a month. And with that anniversary comes our getaway! Yay! One of the reasons I started letting Christi kick my butt way back in the beginning of June is because I wanted to buy an amazing dress for our anniversary. I want to look super good when we go out for our nice dinner to celebrate five wonderful years of marriage. I want to feel good about myself, and I pretty much want to knock Brian's socks off.

So, I've been looking for dresses online just to see what's out there. I will probably actually purchase one in person (because I can't buy a dress online. No telling how certain areas will fit) in about two weeks or so. And of course, whenever shopping for any item of clothing anymore, the question of modesty always pops into the back of my mind. What is okay to show? What's not okay to show? Does this dress cross the line? Is it too short? Too tight? It's maddening!

When Brian and I were dating, I feel I dressed way more modestly than I do now. We weren't married, and there were just certain things that should be kept a secret at that point. I certainly did not wear a habit, but I made it a point to make sure I pretty much dressed like the infamous Sister Wives of TLC do on a daily basis.

These days, I do things a little differently....at least on date nights when Brian and I get out without the kids in tow. On those nights, I want to look a little extra special for him. He comes home to find me in jeans and a tshirt or sweatshirt and doesn't see me looking that put together that often anymore. (Side note: I take great pride in putting on make up and straightening my hair every morning, so it's not like I look like I just rolled out of bed. I'm just dressing way more casually on a daily basis than I did when I taught every day.) I want to take the time out to make myself look extra nice and to make him interested. We get so caught up in being Mom and Dad every day that sometimes we forget what it means to be husband and wife.

I don't feel I dress immodestly, but I tend to leave a little less to the imagination on date nights. Brian and I are married now after all! I always try to keep it classy and not trashy, and Brian has always said that if he found something I was wearing immodest, he'd let me know. And I fully believe he would say something, even it meant sleeping on the couch that night. ;) But I honestly think that with your husband, different rules apply for modesty than if you're going out with just the girls.

I have looked at a few dresses that have long sleeves and cover from my knees to my neck. (Our anniversary is in October, and we are going to be lakeside so it could be chilly) But I know Brian's not into that. And it's really not my style either. I want to show off some of my hard work from the gym this summer. Does that mean I have to dress like a street walker to accomplish that? Absolutely not. But I do believe there's a point at which one can be too modest and too worried about making sure absolutely nothing is showing. 

That point of view is great and well and good in dating. (And trust me, if we are ever blessed with daughters, there will be strict rules about what is appropriate and what isn't.) But sometimes I think it's okay to dress to show yourself off when you're going out with just your husband. It's good to get him interested. It's good for him to think you're amazing and beautiful. It's wonderful for him to look at you as the woman he fell in love with and not just a tired, worn out Mommy (which is how I feel I look at the end of most days.) It's good to feel like you look amazing. Those things are all okay. We are certainly not called to hide away our bodies. (Nor are we called to let it all hang out!)

I'm not writing this because I think the world is too modest. Oh my, no. The world is way too far in the opposite direction. But sometimes as a wife, I need to make sure I'm not going too far the other way. There has to be a happy medium. I hope to find that when shopping for a dress in the next few weeks. In the end, as long as it turns Brian's head, that's all that matter. And it's a good thing if the dress I finally decide on for our anniversary leaves him speechless, too.

7 Quick Takes: Our First Date Edition

Six years ago tomorrow, Brian and I went on our first date. In honor of that, I'd thought I'd give a run down of that AMAZING date for this version of Seven Quick Takes!

1. My parents had gone out for the night and that meant I was alone to meet Brian when he arrived at my door at exactly 6pm. (Looking back now I was totally crazy for meeting a stranger off of the internet alone at home, but, hey, I was young and naive.) He showed up with a white rose, and my heart literally stopped. Not only was he amazingly good looking standing on my doorstep, but he also came with a white rose. I had always had this thought that my future husband would bring me a white rose.

The white rose Brian brought me for our first date. I have it in our Memory Box dried out in the basement.

2. We set off in his car and headed to Station Square to park and then planned to take the incline to a place on Mt. Washington where Brian had made reservations. It was the hottest August Pittsburgh had seen in decades. The temps reached near 100 degress with 100% humidity. The incline ride was brutal, but we were having so much fun chatting and getting to know each other that it didn't bother us all that much.

3. Brian had made reservations at a place called the Shiloh Inn. If you visit it today, you will see it's pretty family friendly and has a sports bar atmosphere. That's not what it was like six years ago. Six years ago, it was candlelit and romantic. There was a story about how it was even haunted by the mistress of the original owner. The lighting was soft and the conversations were quiet and private. It was a great first date atmosphere. It was everything a first date dinner should be. Brian pulled out all the stops for romance, that's for sure.

The Scene of the Crime about 5 years later :)

4. After dinner we headed back down the incline to Station Square. We walked around for a little over an hour just talking. I stopped off in the bathroom at one point and disappeared for a long time to have a texting conversation with one of my dear college friends, Elizabeth. We were both pretty excited for me!

5. Eventually, we grew bored with Station Square and there was some stranger concert going on, so we decided to head back to my parent's place. I called ahead first, and my parents graciously enough made themselves scarce by the time we got home. So we had the whole living room to ourselves.

6. We talked for hours and hours and hours. No subject was too personal. We both felt like we couldn't learn enough about the other one fast enough. A little after midnight, Brian decided he head to make the drive back to Steubenville where he was living at the time. Reluctantly, I walked him out. We shared a hug before we parted ways and promised to talk the next day. It was one of the longest goodbyes I have participated in!

7. We both knew that something special happened between us that night. And we both knew that we had found our future spouse. Those realizations, although we wouldn't share them for another week, were so exciting. We just knew we had each found the one. As Brian drove away that night, I was already looking forward to the time in our lives when there wouldn't be anymore goodbyes. I was excited for our future ahead.

Our first picture together taken right after our first date.

I love you, Brian! What an amazing journey that first date started us off on! So blessed and so thankful!

Five Faves

1. Spot Shot

This stuff is seriously AMAZING! I picked it up because it was cheap at Dollar General ($2.89), and about a week ago, I had to go out and get more because it's that good! I originally purchased it because both of our boys had severe reflux (like I'm talking Matthew and Noah could both hit walls 10 feet away with their puke and they cried and screamed almost constantly). The reflux lots of time left puke stains on my carpet. Grrr. So I thought I'd give this a try, and it took out every puke stain! Then we recently traded in our 1980's, I Survived a Frat House, plaid couch for a more modern chocolate brown one, and I realized within an hour that a solid colored couch with two little ones wasn't my brightest idea. Noah's favorite activity is rubbing his snot all over it. (On those occasions I like to refer to him as Brian's child, not my own.) And Matthew is found of crushing anything he's eating into it. But I need not fear, this stuff takes out everything! You can't even tell you used it because wherever you spray it dries a normal color. This stuff is a life saver!

2. Diaper Sales

I hunt the ads every week that most people refer to as Junk Mail for diaper sales. I always have a stack of diaper coupons just ready to go to town with. And let's face it. Noah is at least a year away from potty training. Oh my. This week was my lucky week. Rite Aid has boxes of Huggies on sale for $17.99. Then, I had $3.00 off coupons for Huggies on top of that! Yay me! So today I walked out of Rite Aid with diapers that retail for between $20 and $24 for $15 total. HUGE savings! I plan to go back tomorrow and use more of my lovely coupons on top of this great offer. Score!

3. Reasonably Priced Craft Kits

My mom recently bought Matthew a Sock Puppet Kit. This kid is the King of Crafts. Especially in the winter, he loved making new things each day. During the winter months, I'd cruise the clearance section of Walmart and could always find several kits (we painted wooden race cars one day) for less than $3.00....no lie. It was like a Gold Mine. This kit wasn't quite $3.00, but it was under $20 and it was a birthday gift from my mom. The cool thing is that we didn't need any glue at all and all of pieces have stayed stuck on for days. They are sturdy, easy, and Matthew had a blast making them. Plus, no mess for me to clean up when we are done! I know some people feel that crafts come from what's lying around at home. But I am pretty much super organized and clutter does not exist here. If my kids want crafts, we buy kits. And the kits really make life much easier.

4. Date Nights

Brian and I have one of these coming up on Friday. We always enjoy our time out together. It is nice to be able to sit and eat and drink without having to entertain the kids. When Matthew was born we decided that it was important that we make time for just the two of us once a month. Sometimes it happens more, but it's always at least once a month. It's good for our marriage and our sanity. It does help that my parents live just a few streets away and are always more than willing to babysit. But honestly, last weekend we used sitters who weren't my parents and the kids did great and the babysitters LOVED watching our boys. A win for all. I am definitely looking forward to a little one-on-one time with my hubby.

5. A Rumored *NSYNC Reunion

Oh how I miss them!

 I read an article yesterday that said they are rumored to be reuniting at the VMA's on Sunday. So for the first time since high school, I am actually planning on tuning in. I am sure I will be scandalized and appalled at what I see, but it will all be worth it if my boys do indeed take the stage. Growing up, I was super obsessed with them. You couldn't even see my bedroom walls because I had so many posters. And with all the other boy bands making comeback albums and tours, it's about darn time that the BEST boy band of all time (don't fight me on this one. I can name every musical record they hold. ;)) should reunite. I'm hopeful that this could lead to a reunion tour, and Brian looked super thrilled when I announced last night that if that happens, he will be taking me and we will have front row seats. Let's hope the rumor turns out to be true!

Seven Quick Takes, Volume 1

1. So some of you may be wondering who is this Abby I keep referring to? Abby is short for Abigail Grace. She is our daughter who passed away at just six short weeks into our pregnancy on February 2, 2009. Everyone deals with miscarriage differently. For us, it was important that Abby always be remembered as a part of our family. Her birthday would've been September 28, 2009, so every year we celebrate that. I proudly consider myself a mom of 3 - 2 on Earth and 1 in Heaven. And you may be wondering how we knew we were having a girl? We didn't, but when I first started having complications with the pregnancy it felt natural for me to start referring to the baby as a girl, and by that point in our pregnancy Brian and I had already discussed how much we loved the name Abigail. I figure if we never got to hold or see our baby on Earth, at least we got to decide the gender. ;) In all seriousness, she is part of our family, and we love her very much. We are thankful to have our own personal angel in Heaven. Click the link below to hear a song that perfectly describes how we feel about her. :)

See You Again

2. Speaking of children, I adore seeing Matthew and Noah grow up together and interact. They are two years and two months apart and just this summer have really started playing together. Noah has adored Matthew from the very early days of his life, and Noah is slowly growing on Matthew! The more Noah can do with Matthew, the more Matthew enjoys his little brother. It is so dear to watch them together. And Matthew is already fiercely protective of Noah. I overhear him at events with other children many times saying very firmly, "That's my brother!" There's something to be said for having two boys that close together. (Although I'm pretty sure they are taking years off of my life and sanity.) I pray they will be lifelong friends.

3. This Ab Challenge is AMAZING!

Seriously, try it. I did it for the month of June and since then, I've chosen five sets every week to do (taking rest days about every two days.) Doing this combined with my workouts from my fabulous trainer, Christi (let me know if you want her number. She can even train you in your home!) I have lost inches from my waist. I mean, let's face it, I will never be a size 2 again in my life (sad day. I miss being that skinny), but at least my baby pouch is toned and in place and not just sagging all over anymore. It is a ton of hard work, but so worth it. And it's fun to see results. Try this workout. It will change your life.

4. My hubby and I are going on a double date tonight with on my closest friends in Pittsburgh and her husband. They are a great couple, and we very much enjoy their company. We are headed to a Japanese Steakhouse (way different than mine and Brian's normal date night at Applebee's lol). We are all excited to get out without the kids and be able to have a conversation. And let's be honest. I'm looking forward to a good Long Island, too! :)

5.

Carrie Underwood said this in an interview with People Magazine in the Spring. I cut it out and have it hanging on my mirror in the bedroom. I see it every morning when I am getting ready. Obviously, the statement is a bit exaggerated, but it keeps me motivated. I want to look good for my husband. I have always feared letting myself go and blaming it on having kids. I don't think that's right or okay to do to your hubby and all of the moms I hang out with look great every time we get together. (That helps call me on more than this quote!) But as I'm spending time putting on make up and straightening my hair, I can read this and realize that what I'm doing at that moment is important. And it reminds me that if at all possible, the first stop after daily Mass needs to the be the gym. Brian would love me no matter what I looked like (and not a day goes by when he doesn't tell me I'm beautiful), but I want him to be proud to say I'm his wife and be excited to come home to me looking half decent on a daily basis. 

6. So Monday was our first day without Brian around after 9.5 straight days of his company. It wasn't a terrible day, actually, and what made it even better was getting an email in the afternoon saying I had won a backstage pass to meet Rascal Flatts! Woohoo! I am 28 years old and super pumped about this. (hey, I never claimed to be super mature. *NSYNC is my workout music of choice, after all.) I get to meet them before their show in Pittsburgh on September 6. Brian and I were already looking forward to the concert and now it's even more exciting. Plus, the kids are staying at my parents that night. Yay for sleeping in on a Saturday morning! Oh, and I should add that we definitely got tickets that have seats with them for the concert. You know you are pushing 30 and 40 when you swear you will never go to a concert again without seats!

Gary, from Rascal Flatts. He is my fave member. And I kinda think he looks like Brian. :)

7. I have been obsessed with The Band Perry lately. Their song, "If I Die Young," reminds me of Abby in so many ways, but lately their new, rockier stuff really makes me happy. And while I am out tutoring, I totally jam to it in the minivan with the windows rolled down. (I tried to get Brian and the boys to jam with me a few weeks ago, but no go. Well, at least Matthew asks to listen to Carrie Underwood's Good Girl on a daily basis.) Nothing like a good break up song blaring from a minivan adorned with a "Baby on Board" sign as it rolls through the quiet streets of Mt. Lebanon and Upper St. Clair. Hey, at least it beats "If You're Happy and You Know It." Anyways, if you're not familiar with them, check out the links to the YouTube videos below:

The Band Perry with Done

The Band Perry with Better Dig Two 

Have a fantastic weekend! Please pray for us and the couples who will be attending the Engaged Encounter Retreat this weekend. We are giving our NFP talk tomorrow and defending the faith at the Wrap Session tomorrow night. Prayers are greatly appreciated.

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