Five Faves

The blog has been a little quiet lately. I've been too tired and actually just too busy to actually have the time to sit down and write a post. I've thought about it several times but our days have literally been nonstop activity. And nap time has been spent with me reorganizing the house and prepping the boys room for the big transformation to bunk beds that is set to occur this Saturday. Anyways, before I get my ab exercises done, I thought I'd pop on and write about my five faves this week.

1. Gratitude from my students

The second grader I tutor had a writing assignment to write a thank you note to someone and she chose me! I was honored and really flattered. It was so sweet of her and the note is now hanging on our fridge in the midst of the kids' artwork. What a great motivator when I find myself losing steam as the holidays approach quickly.

2. Gymsport Open Gym Play Time

About once or twice a month, I take the kids to Gymsport, a local gymnastics gym. They offer preschool open gym Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 9-12. It is $5/child/hour. We usually go from about 10:30-11:30 and then stay around afterwards to eat our lunch at the tables provided there. The boys LOVE it. They can run, jump, bounce, climb, and do so many fun things without getting in trouble for it. As the winter approaches, it is great to have something so close to our house and so cheap to go and do get their energy out.

3. Philip Rivers

So, he's not a Steelers quarterback, but he is an AMAZING, devout Catholic who is an awesome witness to the faith. He and his wife has six children and they speak out about why couples should use NFP. I saw a video online recently of an interview he did speaking about NFP and why he and his wife use it. It is honest and sincere. My favorite quote from the whole thing is this:

 “For us it was a Church teaching, so you have to do it. As you obey...then you start to understand and see the fruits of it (NFP) in your marriage.”

Take five minutes and check out the video here. 

4. Sales

Last Thursday night, Brian just happened to be on Craigslist when an ad for a wooden train table with accessories popped up for only $40. And it was literally 15 minutes from our house. We jumped and were able to purchase this gem the next day! Now, we have an awesome, usually very pricey, Christmas gift for a fraction of the price! Also, this past Friday, the boys and I had a little extra time after we were done at the gym and between when we needed to be at our next activity, so we wandered around the shops at the shopping center where the gym is located. I found Brian a pair of really nice dress shoes that originally cost $100 on sale for only $40! They were the only pair in his size, and he loves them. He can't get over how comfortable they are. I was also able to pick up a Jingles the Dog DVD and book for Matthew at Hallmark. (Both are Christmas gifts.) The book was $10 and the DVD was $10. After coupons, I paid only $11 for both. Awesome! And I was able to buy them without Matthew knowing I did so. He loves Jingles and will be excited for his new book and DVD.

5. This picture from after the circus on Sunday night.

I mean, how can you  not smile?

Have a great night!

7 Quick Takes

I sit at the end of this week just completely devoid of energy. Technically right now, I need to be getting my rear in gear and working out with Jillian Michaels since I missed the gym today and yesterday, but I just don't have the energy. Instead, catching up on blogs and actually blogging on my own blog seems much more appealing.

1. All Saints Day

Today is All Saints Day, and it is by far one of my favorite feast days in the Church year. What I think is particularly cool about today is that it is a day when we celebrate ALL the Saints of the Church, known and unknown. Everyone in Heaven is a Saint, but some have not been declared Saints by the Church. So it's nice to have a day like today when we recognize those who have reached their eternal reward. Someone told me yesterday that they would be remembering Abby today when they were at Mass, and the comment made my day. 

2. Halloween

In all, the boys attended two Halloween parties (three if you count Zoo Boo), and trick or treated for a good hour last night. The weather could have cooperated better, but the rain just made things more interesting. We made it through one whole street and then headed home. Somehow between all the events, we now have enough candy to last us a lifetime. Seriously, it is insane. And most people in the neighborhood where we go give out full size candy bars or packages of candy. I am going to gain ten pounds just looking at it all. 

The morning of Halloween before the Preschool Party.

Mike and Sully ready for trick or treating.

 3. Noah joins Preschool

Matthew's preschool party was on Thursday morning, and I am a homeroom mom, so I stayed to help out. Of course, Noah had to tag along as well. He was intimidated at all. In fact, when it was story time, he just pushed through the crowd and plopped down right next to Matthew and continued to listen to the story. He fit right in.

4. The Weight Game

I had a doctor's appointment this past week (two actually), and I had gained five pounds in six months. Gasp! I wasn't all that freaked out. In fact, I kind of expected it. I have been training with Christi, and I am definitely losing inches, but I'm also gaining major muscle. And muscle weighs a lot. Anyways, the second doctor was quite concerned and really had me worried. Christi tried to give me a good pep talk, but I was still feeling all chubby and yucky. Then, at the gym on Wednesday an older man who hadn't been there in about a month was suddenly back working out. (The gym I go to is pretty small and you start to recognize the people who work out when you do. You make small talk sometimes, too.) And he stopped me and very sincerely proceeded to tell me how impressed he was that I had lost all the baby weight and then some. What a nice thing to say! And I sooooooo needed to hear that. I am nowhere near my prepregnancy weight. But I feel like I am actually healthy for the first time in my life. If I keep working with Christi, I'll get leaner, too. And the best part? The OB okayed my entire workout with Christi (including my 5K) to continue during pregnancy in a few years when, God willing, we decide to have another baby.

5. A Friendly Visit

Last weekend Matthew's Godfather came to visit. We had a very busy weekend, and we had a lot of fun. I am quite certain he went home way more exhausted than when he arrived. Matthew loved having him visit. And it was adorable when after Mass on Sunday he proudly walked over to Father Jim and said, "This is my grandfather." He meant Godfather, clearly, but it was oh so cute since his godfather is nowhere near old enough to be a grandfather!

6. Monsters University

Monsters University came out on DVD this past Tuesday, and the boys and I could not wait to bring it home. I never thought I would be one of those parents who runs to the store the first day something is released, but I am! Monsters University is really such a cute and fun movie. I was anxious to get to see it again. I think I even like it better than the first. And the boys love it. They enjoy sitting and watching it and also trying to scare each other like the students in Scare Class. I would highly recommend watching it.

7. Bam!

The following sums up everything about why we use NFP:

 

Have a fantastic weekend!

7 Quick Takes

The blog has been pretty quiet recently. I've found lots of things I'd love to write about, but I just haven't had time. Since we returned from our anniversary getaway, life has been crazy. And next week looks even crazier. So I had to take a break from all the craziness today and share my seven quick takes. I apologize in advance for the photo bombing that's about to begin.

1. Matthew has outgrown his toddler bed, and Noah has almost outgrown his crib. So we had some major decisions to make about the bed situation. We plan on moving in the spring and buying a house (God willing), but until then, we will need to set them up in this house for sleeping. After a lot of research and discussion, we decided to go with bunk beds. This means that Noah will completely skip the toddler bed phase, and I am okay with this. We found a black wooden bunk bed frame from IKEA, and we will add a bed rail to the bottom bunk to keep Noah safe. I had so much fun ordering the kids bedding this week, and I have been picking up wall decorations when I see them to redecorate their new room. Goodbye, Elmo and Pooh. Hello, Steelers! :) It is going to be great. :)

 

2. Matthew's first preschool pictures came in this week, and they are adorable! I love the group picture the most. The picture is adorable and so funny. I love how Mary is behind them all. It's awesome.

3. I am obsessed with Sara Evans' new video, Slow Me Down. She is by far my all time favorite singer. I have met her twice and seen her in concert numerous times. She is one of my idols, and it has been three years since she put out new music! That's too long. Take a second to check it out. You will be happy you did. :)

Me and Sara Evans in August of 2004....wow I'm old!

4. I made some time this week to bake for my dad's company's Cash Bash fundraiser tonight. They do a dinner buffet and dessert table and are always looking for donations for the dessert table. Since I love to bake and inherited my grandma Kay's baking skills, I always volunteer. This time around, I came up with the cupcakes below. Seriously, they were soooooo easy to make. And they're cute. 

5. Brian gave me the sweetest, most romantic anniversary card ever last week. Most of it will remain private, but I just had to share the fact that inside the card he taped two tickets to a football game we had attended 6 days into our relationship. Later that day, we prayed together for the first time and later that night, we said I love you for the first time. It is a day I will never forget....and apparently Brian didn't either. I didn't even know he still had the tickets. It really made my anniversary. 

6. Matthew gave one of his closest friends a birthday gift this week. He loved the entire process of gift giving. He had such a blast picking out the present, wrapping it, decorating the card, and then finally presenting the gift. It was so cute to see how much joy he had in the whole process. At the end, he totally attacked his friend with a hug. He's a little more of a hug person than she is apparently, but it was still cute. If only arranged marriages were still the in thing....

7. This picture pretty much sums it all up. This is my goal at the end of the day. I fail almost daily and sometimes hourly at doing this, but I am trying. And I saw this graphic on facebook a few days ago and just really liked it. I think we will be using it in our talk on NFP. It says it better than I ever could.

Have a fantastic last weekend of October! Time is truly flying by! :)

How NFP has made Me Miserable....Not!

Today the Diocese of Pittsburgh celebrated its second annual NFP Awareness Day. Since Brian and I are trained NFP promoters we were once again responsible this year for doing something at our parish to promote the day. We pray it was successful.

However, just yesterday I read a description of a book entitled The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning. And I have to say that I found the description incredibly offensive. (Disclaimer: I have never read the book and since I have been so offended by just the description, I probably won't waste my time.) If you care to read it, you can click here. I particularly took offense with the idea that practicing NFP has now somehow made my life "awful" or that I am "miserable." Now, is our marriage rainbows and sunshine because of NFP? No. But even without NFP our marriage would not be that way. Marriage is hard. The fantasy of holding hands at sunset dies the minute the first child comes along.

But let's deal with the fact that apparently this book is for those who are miserable and have an awful life because of using NFP. This just disgusts me. Is NFP hard? Some days, yes. Is it a cross? Yep. I already blogged about that. But has it made my life awful? Um, no. Not at all! Many things could make my life awful. In fact, after Abby died I tend to think of that time in my life as truly awful. Grieving the loss of a child is something I would not wish on my worst enemy. That was the definition of awful. Using NFP? Not so much.

And as Brian and I discussed, there are many things that make me miserable. Not getting more than 4 hours of a sleep for a week. Lots of cancellations for tutoring slots. Days straight of clouds and rain. A really bad headache or sinus infection. Feeling sick to my stomach for the first 16 weeks of every pregnancy. Not being able to work out four days a week. (Let's face it. I'm a pretty pessimistic person, so that list could go on and on and on, but I will spare you.) Using NFP? Nowhere near to being on that list. Even on the days when I find using NFP to be a cross, I don't feel miserable. And I certainly don't think my life is awful. I just feel like on that day I have a heavier cross to carry, and I rely more fully on the Lord to help me. But misery and pain don't come into play at all. Do I feel a little sad that I'm not nesting and getting out the newborn clothes? Yes, but that's a natural part of being a woman. Miserable and awful are just so far from an accurate description of the situation.

As Brian and I talked further about the statements in the book's description, we came to an interesting conclusion. We are using NFP. We live it, breathe it, fully embrace it. And here's the most awesome part. We feel at PEACE using it. We feel okay at the end of each day knowing we are postponing the next baby for now. We feel like we can breathe and don't feel massive amounts of anxiety about that decision. We are happy and content. We feel good about our decisions regarding family planning and can rest easy at night. But here's the thing. If we were miserable or did feel our life was awful because of the decisions we have made about family planning, it would probably be a HUGE wake up call for us.

Some decisions in life are not so black and white. They take great discernment and careful prayer and discussion. For us, deciding whether or not to have another baby at this point is one of those decisions. And NFP is something that shouldn't be used without careful prayer and consideration. Once we come to the conclusion each month that God isn't calling us to add onto our family at this point, we usually feel great peace with our decision to postpone a baby that month. It eases our mind.

If our minds did not feel at ease, and we were very unhappy and miserable, I think we'd know we were making a huge mistake and totally misreading God's plan for our family. So maybe those who feel they are miserable using NFP and who feel that their lives are awful are misreading what should be happening next in terms of their family planning. It seems to me that if someone doesn't feel at peace using NFP, then maybe that person needs to reevaluate things. God does ask us to suffer, yes. But to be miserable and think you have an awful life? I'm pretty sure God doesn't call any of us to live like that.

What's the point of this post? I guess just to say that Brian and I use NFP (as do many couples we know), and we are not at all miserable. We do not think our life is awful. We feel beyond blessed and quite happy with our marriage and the life we have built together. I have yet to meet someone who is absolutely miserable using NFP, and I really resent the book's description in implying that those who use NFP are bound to be that way. We need young couples in the Church to embrace NFP. Books with descriptions like that simply scare them off and make them turn quickly into the eagerly awaiting arms of artificial contraception. It turns them off.

I pray that on NFP Awareness Sunday many young couples will recognize the beauty and goodness that is NFP and learn to implement it in their marriage. I pray that Brian and I present an example of a couple who practices NFP with joy and contentment and respect for God's plan for our life. Even on the days we find it to be a cross, I hope we may always radiate the goodness that is NFP and show others how that goodness has strengthened our marriage. I pray we may never come off as miserable or actually feel that our life is awful.

On that note, happy charting!

7 Quick Takes

1. Our stove was red tagged last night. I thought all day that I had been smelling gas. And I felt like I could smell it everywhere. Before I left for tutoring, Brian came home from work and while he faintly smelled something in the kitchen, he did not smell it near as strongly as I did. My dad told us that we could call the gas company and they'd send someone to check for any leaks. (Seems like an obvious solution.) So Brian did that. And guess what? The stove was leaking gas. So, it's red tagged and we're waiting on parts to come in before we can fix it and use it again. Looks like the microwave and toaster oven will be the way to cook this weekend. In all seriousness, there was a huge house explosion caused by natural gas just across the border in West Virginia this morning (very close to where I attended school.) The house is leveled and one teenager died. We are very blessed and beyond thankful that the leak was detected before something awful occurred.

2. We headed to Soergel's Farm this morning to hang out with some moms from Mommy's Group. We didn't get to stay nearly as long as I had wanted (had to meet the stove repairman), but my boys had a blast. Noah ended up falling in a large mud puddle, and Matthew purposefully rolled in the same puddle. He then removed his pants and underwear while I was tending to Noah and was standing in the middle of the play area stark naked from the waste down. Parenting fail. But the good news is that they both had a wonderful time and loved the little break from the city.

3. This weekend is the Diocese of Pittsburgh's 2nd Annual NFP Awareness Sunday. Being trained NFP Promoters, Brian and I are responsible for doing something at our parish to promote NFP. We put up a large trifold board with all kinds of fun facts in the back of the church along with some pamphlets. We are also mentioned in the bulletin. And I have a strong suspicion that Father Jim will somehow weave NFP into his homily on Sunday and his homilies about NFP are pretty much the bomb. We are excited and ask for your prayers that many hearts will be converted this weekend and that many couples can recognize the goods the come from practicing NFP instead of artificial contraception.

4. After the repairman left this morning, the boys and I got crafty with our baby pumpkins that we picked up at the farm. (We will go to a different farm at the end of the month with my parents to get big pumpkins, so we opted to get the tiny ones this time around.) We decided to make bat pumpkins. We painted the pumpkins, glued on eyes and wings and now we have bat pumpkins. Matthew made the wings for his pumpkin. I had to help Noah. It was again, an easy and fun craft. I highly recommend trying it out.

5. Noah went to this ENT this week for his usual 6 month follow up. I already knew he had an ear infection before we got there, and we had started drops a few days before. Well, it turns out one of his tubes is completely blocked. And on top of the infection in his ears, he also has a pretty bad yeast infection going on in his ears, too. He is now on two sets of drops. We are praying that this clears the blocked tube and he can start into the colder weather with healthy ears. We really do not want to have to replace the tubes, and we are discouraged that they haven't worked as well for him as they did for Matthew. Please pray his ears get better quickly.

6. This weekend we are heading out to the Dormont Street Fair. I love the street fair. It is such a fun, free community event. (Well, it's not free for us because we definitely indulge in all the local food offered, but it doesn't cost anything to attend. :)) The boys love seeing all the fire trucks and playing in the kids area. Last year I met a politician who was a huge fan of Propel Schools, and he picked my brain for a while about why the Propel Way works. It was awesome. This year a local band, The Justin Fabus Band, will be performing. We first saw them open for the Hillbilly Way in January and April. The best part is....I went to high school with Justin and was in chorus class with him. Great guy. He has no clue who I am, but he was pretty popular back at KO. Everyone knew him. I am happy to see a local guy have a lot of success.

7.This past week, one of my students was having a hard time because his grandmother is dying. (They were actually taking her off of life support today, so offer a prayer for them.) His mom and I had a heart to heart with him, and during the conversation, I mentioned I had lost a daughter a few years ago. At this point, his mom starts crying. She, too, had lost a baby girl many years ago. And just like that: BOOM! Instant connection. We hugged and then made plans to meet for coffee next week. This family is truly wonderful and I work there three hours each week. I knew I always felt especially connected to them, and now I know why. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for prompting me to share so personally. I have gained another friend. :)

And on that note, have a happy, enjoyable weekend! :)

Five Favorites: NFP Edition

Last week I wrote a post about the cross of NFP. Well, if there's one thing I have learned in life, it's that most crosses come with a few blessings, even if we don't recognize them right away. So for this week's edition of Five Favorites, I decided to list my five favorite things about using NFP. And if it comes off like I'm selling it as a good, I am! NFP is actually GOOD for a marriage. (It's not like it's evil or I'm walking around like Eeyore all day because we use NFP.) Why shouldn't it be sold that way? So, here we go....

1. I know my body like the back of my own hand.

Through charting, I have learned a lot about my body. I know that the stabbing, blinding ten second headaches I get just mean my cycle is getting ready to reset, not that I have a brain tumor. I know that for the last part of my cycle I should never step foot near a scale because I retain 3-5 pounds of water weight. I know that waking up feeling like my lower back is going to fall off just means ovulation is coming in the next few days. I have a thyroid disease, and I can tell after one messed up chart that I need to go get blood work done, and it saves me from getting super, super sick. I know exactly why my body does every single thing that it does. And that makes me more aware of my health all around. I am convinced that if something major was wrong, I would know early enough to be able to treat whatever it may be. 

2. Brian and I talk about our family size at least once a week. 

What does that mean? Why is it important? Basically, we are in a constant dialogue about when is the best time to expand our family. It's not like we made the decision to wait months ago (or the day after Noah was born and wouldn't stop screaming) and have yet to revisit it. We are continually reevaluating our situation in order to determine when the next baby should come. These dialogues are so wonderful for both us. We are truly honest and open with each other and are very vulnerable. They are intimate and connect us in ways we wouldn't otherwise be connected. We take the call to "responsible parenthood" very seriously.

3. I pray a lot more.

Using NFP successfully takes a ton of prayer. Whether you are trying to conceive or postpone a baby, you can't do either without prayer. I take my concerns or thanksgivings about NFP to God every day in prayer. I constantly seek His guidance and feel I rely on Him even more during the times we are postponing our next baby.

4. I relive my wedding night and honeymoon each month.

All those days of waiting and abstaining come to an end at some point every month. That's pretty cool. Enough said.

5. Using NFP successfully has made Brian and me the perfect candidates to give the NFP Talk at Engaged Encounter Weekends.

Many couples who go on these weekends, unfortunately, have never heard of NFP. They have been told the pill is the way to go. Because we use NFP, and it is so near and dear to our hearts, we are able to go every few months and talk to the engaged couples about why they should use NFP in their marriage. We get to meet them where they are in life, and show them the beauty of way of NFP. Sometimes we convert a few, and sometimes none. But we have at least planted the seed that: 1. The Catholic Church does not mandate that you should have a dozen children, and 2. There is a legitimate way to plan a family that leaves you open to life and allows you unity with your spouse. I think this last one is my favorite of the five favorites. :)

Happy Charting!

The Cross of NFP

Disclaimer: This post is not directed at anyone or meant to offend anyone. Some things have happened over the past week that have left me a bit bummed out about postponing another baby, and as I prayed about it on the treadmill today, these thoughts came to mind. 

I read a blog entry a few weeks ago during NFP Awareness Week called "NFP Sucks." And, yes, on some days it does really stink, but this is not what this post is about. No, I don't believe NFP truly stinks (my mother taught me to never use the word sucks, and I will be darned if I start using it now.) I do believe it to be a beautiful thing that, when practiced correctly, can lead to many blessings for a marriage. However, sometimes having to use NFP for a period of time can really be a cross.

I will start out by saying how bothered I get when it is clear Brian and I are being judged outright for using NFP right now. I'm not about to go through our reasons for postponing our next child (they really are no one's business but ours and God's and sometimes Father Jim's when I seek his counsel in confession.) But we do have some concerning and legitimate reasons for postponing. Sometimes when other Catholics find out we are postponing, they look at us like we are crazy. And the judgement begins.

From the outside looking in, what more could we need? We went on vacation, we go on date nights, we do fun things as a family. Money can't be that tight. We seem to be super happy. There can't be an emotional reason, can there? Unless they can look into our souls, they will never truly know the legitimate (the correct translation of the word grave in Italian) reasons we have chosen to postpone our next baby.

There's a line of thinking from some Catholics who don't support the use of NFP to postpone babies in any situation in modern countries. They themselves have chosen to just "trust God" and let Him decide the size of their family. And that's beautiful and wonderful. (really it is! I admire those with large families very much. I meant that in all sincerity. It's when the judging starts that I get uneasy.) NFP is recognized by the Church as a legitimate (yep, I am totally going to kill that word today) form of family planning. Those who choose not to use NFP are no better than Brian and I. They aren't somehow holier or closer to getting to Heaven than we are. I applaud them for being able to and willing to just let God decide their family size. That's cool. But what we are doing in our marriage as parents is pretty cool, too. We are trying to plan our family based on our circumstances and personal spiritual life. The cool thing about NFP is that it allows us to remain open to life during every marital act. So this idea that those of us who use NFP are not open to life is just not correct.

But my biggest issue that I think often times is overlooked by those who don't support using NFP is the fact that needing to use NFP can be a HUGE cross. Those who have large families sometimes see the sacrifices they have to make in order to support those large families as crosses. Well, having to have a smaller family at a slower rate than what you intended can also be a cross.

Here's the thing. I LOVE babies. (Well, once they get to be about five months old and sleep trained and nursing less, I LOVE babies. For the first five months, I go into survival, "Oh my gosh. Brian, don't touch me. I'm never doing this again" mode.) Brian also LOVES babies. I'm pretty sure he likes parenthood more than I do! We long to give our children a house full of siblings because I was an only child and he was one of two and we both see how lonely that is as adults. We want to procreate and fill the world with little, life loving Catholics to combat the Culture of Death. We believe part of marriage is bringing children into this world if you are able to physically do so. We would both love nothing more than to delete the NFP app tonight and let things happen as they may. But right now, we just can't.

And that's hard. Really, really hard. It is a cross to want so badly to bring another life into this world, but to also know at the same time, that now is just not the time and God is just asking you to wait a little longer. It is a cross to constantly be surrounded by pregnant women and know that the time for you to have that baby belly again is at least a year, if not more, away. It is a cross when every month for two days all you do is think about babies and welcoming new life into the world only to be told by your NFP app that now is not the time for such thoughts! It is a cross to worry and wonder each month if when the time comes to delete the NFP app from your iphone if your body's fertility will still be working. And let's face it. Not being able to be intimate in a marriage when you really, really want to can certainly be a cross. Oh that reminds me...when you plan your 5 year anniversary weekend getaway a year in advance and suddenly realize that it's not really during the best time of your cycle, NFP is an even bigger cross! It's hard! Using NFP at times definitely means sacrificing what you want for the betterment of your family, spouse, marriage, health, etc, etc.

I totally get that we are all called to carry crosses with Christ and to sacrifice for Him and with Him. I just find it funny that many overlook what a HUGE cross using NFP can be. It's heavy some days, and sometimes, I just want to throw it away. But Christ didn't do that with His cross, and we won't with this cross either. But wouldn't it be great if those of us who have legitimate reasons to use NFP and those of us who choose not to use it could just smile and get along? Wouldn't it be awesome if we could both recognize in each other the sacrifices and crosses in our lives without getting all judgemental? Maybe both sides of the issue could support each other in striving to live out God's Will for their own marriages. Neither side is better than the other. And using NFP and not using NFP can be filled with sacrifices and crosses.

For now, I will end by saying that I am thankful for the gift and cross of NFP. Our marriage and life would not be the same without it. The blessings from it far outnumber the crosses most days. If you are curious as to what NFP is and how to use it, please message me. I have lots of great information. Lots. :) God bless and happy charting!

Two of our three biggest blessings to come from using NFP. :)

I Don't Even Know My Last Name

Last night Brian and I gave our NFP talk at the Engaged Encounter Retreat in Pittsburgh. Many of you who know me well enough know that I have a slight obsession with NFP. I love the subject, and I consider myself pretty well versed in using it. So, I have been dying to share this passion and knowledge on such an important topic for a while. However, somehow last night the nerves kicked into high gear. I may have actually been shaking when we started our introduction. But in the end, I have to say that it went very, very well. Better than we both could have hoped for.

We arrived while the couples were having dinner and that was great because it gave us time for a little prayer time in the chapel, which was desperately needed. The weekend was a small one, with only 10 couples attending. I think that made it easier in some ways and harder in others. The couples who were there seemed to really be taking things seriously and trying to get something out of the weekend. It was certainly easier to get to know something about all of them since there weren't that many in attendance. But when it came time to actually give our talk, having that few people all focused on us was a bit intimidating. And that's from someone who LOVES being the center of attention. As an only child, I quite enjoy and am used to having all eyes on me, but this was way different.

Our talk, however, went really well. The couples all listened attentively, and I didn't even catch one eye roll from anyone! That's got to be a first during a talk on NFP. I think what made it so successful was the fact that we made our talk really personal. We talked about how NFP has worked in our marriage and what a great blessing it has been to us. We also were brutally honest and said that sometimes it's just plain hard and really stinks. I think the couples appreciated that view of it the most. We didn't just stand up there and sing the praises of NFP....we talked about the reality of it. And let's face it. Sometimes that reality of abstinence is super hard!

Once our talk was over, we were invited by the hosting couple to stay for the Discussion Group. During the Discussion Group, everyone sits in a circle and drinks a glass of wine while pulling questions that the couples have written over the weekend from the Question Box. Once the question is read, it's fair game for anyone to answer. Questions last night ranged from how to compromise to who balances the check book. It was great to get to participate in those discussions and offer our perspective as a married couple.

One of the questions that came up in the Discussion Group was whether or not to change your last name. Some women said they were considering not doing so because they were older and had written publications or created art work in their maiden names. One woman blatantly just said she wasn't going to change her name because she was the last of seven girls to get married and wanted to keep her father's name. I have to say that I was shocked to even hear the discussion occurring!

For me, I couldn't drop my maiden name fast enough. I came back from my honeymoon and actually left work early the first day back so that I could visit the Social Security Office and apply to have my name changed. Within a week, my maiden name had been completely erased. And I was glad to see it go.

It wasn't just the fact that I was finally getting a royal title as a last name (I had considered myself a Princess for years at that point! ;)), but I truly felt that in the two becoming one, part of that was changing my last name and taking on my husband's. I felt that if I didn't change my last name, it would be a huge slap in the face to Brian although he had never expressed such feelings. I just envisioned keeping my maiden name as ultra feminist (and I am the furthest thing from a feminist. Yes, I enjoy equal pay and the right to vote, but I never bargained for being able to stay at home with  my children being so difficult to do financially! Seriously, things have gotten out of hand with that movement!). I would never disrespect Brian by not taking his last name. I saw it as a very loving and trusting gesture on my part. And I'm pretty sure he saw it the same way.

Maybe it's just that Brian and I are pretty traditional in many ways. I always felt he should lead our family and be the head. He should be the bread winner. And although there are many times when we both are in control together, for the most part, I try very hard to take a back seat and let him lead us where we need to go. (I'm sure he'd laugh at that since giving up control is not my best character trait!) But seriously, part of having a traditional marriage meant giving up my last name.

I understand every woman is different, but it never crossed my mind that women actually debate changing their last name after marriage. For me it was so natural. So last night was a bit eye opening in that way. I am so proud to have Brian's last name, and quite honestly, I am honored that he chose me to share it with. Being a Prince is pretty darn cool.

Five Faves

1. Kindara NFP App

Seriously this NFP app has changed my life. I have been obsessed with NFP since high school and started learning NFP a few months before our wedding. Until a few months ago, I was using the old and hard to read paper charts. Then, I got an iPhone (I know I'm only five years late on that one!) and figured there had to be an NFP app. I did some searching and through some reviews thought that I'd like Kindara the best. I have not been disappointed. Now my chart is with me everywhere which means I can record my data when I have time and not when my chart is nearby. Plus, it makes my charting a whole lot more private. No longer will Matthew be pulling out papers from beside my bed and asking me, "Mommy, are these for coloring?" Yes, this app has changed my life.

 

2. This Cooler, Fall like Weather

I despise the summer heat, so today when I could throw on jeans and a hoodie and pretty much be comfortable all day I was in Heaven. I love, love, love Fall weather and these little previews we've been having this summer here in the Burgh have been delightful. I cannot stand to sweat, and I hate humidity because my hair turns into an afro point two seconds after I leave air conditioning. Today, I had lovely silky hair and didn't sweat at all (except when I pounded out my 5K at the gym.) And with Fall comes football, and I just love football more than any other sport. Watching preseason games last weekend totally rocked. Come on, Fall, hurry up and get here for real!

 

3. Kids' Room at Fitness 19

Okay, so this kids' room is not your ordinary daycare. The women back in that room are AMAZING! Matthew asks to go every day and gets disappointed if we miss a day. They do arts and crafts and have strict rules for the kids to follow to keep them in line. They also aren't afraid to let kids be upset when Mommy leaves. Instead of calling me back after five minutes of Noah screaming, they worked with him for weeks to get him to keep calm, even if that meant he cried for a while for those two weeks. They knew it was best for him and me that way. One of the reasons we kept Matthew out of preschool at age two was because of his experiences at the gym. He was doing a lot of what kids would do in two year old preschool at the gym. When Noah was born, I even transferred my membership to Brian so that Matthew could still have access to the kids' room while I wasn't allowed to exercise. We have even visited one of the teacher's houses, and many of the women who work at the gym actually babysit for us. The kids love going and Mommy gets an hour and a half to herself to try and get her pre baby body back. It's a win-win!

 

4. Big Brother

Totally an addict of this show and so his my hubby. I have to admit that this season is not as good as last, although last season saw the return of Mike Boogie to the Big Brother House, and he is by far the greatest player (next to his buddy Dr. Will) to ever play the game. Just thinking of them together makes me smile. Brian never had the privilege of seeing them play (he was in seminary at the time). So I always have to try and describe how they played and why they were so funny. If you have no idea what I am talking about, you can watch this YouTube video of the two of them. It is hilarious!

Boogie and Dr. Will

But, yeah, this season just doesn't measure up. In the words of Rachel Riley, "Floaters, grab a life vest!" There are too many of them around this year! Ugh. Still, though, Brian and I are addicts. We don't miss an episode, and we talk about the players during daily conversations as if we know them. Wow. We are boring.

 

5. Tutoring

I love my job and my business. I really do. I tutor about 12-15 hours every week, and while it can get exhausting by 8:30 on Thursday night, I would never not do it. Yes, I will totally cut back on hours the minute our budget will allow it, but right now, I can work while my husband or parents are with the boys and it brings in money needed to pay some of the bills and to have fun with! My business, Tutoring with Danielle, allows Brian to now only work one job when he used to work two. (Which meant not Saturdays for us.) Plus, I love working one-on-one with students. It saves my sanity some days to know that in just a few hours, I'll be free for a little while to not have to refill sippy cups and clean up messes and make sure Noah isn't trying to plunge to his death from the couch. It's nice to be just me the teacher for a few hours. I love my kids, but I love my work, too. As a bonus, any money I make extra above what we need for the month can either be saved in our house fund or used to have weekend fun. We are not a family who just stays home on the weekends. We work hard for what we make and both Brian and I feel that we should live life by working hard and playing hard. This summer some extra money allowed us to buy Rascal Flatts concert tickets (yes, I won a contest to meet them!). So it's the best of both worlds for me. I can stay home with my little ones during the day and tutor in the evenings. And eventually my business will expand enough where I will only tutor a few hours each week and make money from all of the other people who work for me as tutors. That day will be amazing!

 

Have a lovely evening, everyone! And remember tomorrows the Feast of the Assumption (one of the best Feast Days ever!). It's a Holy Day of Obligation. :)