Modest is Hottest?

Note: I am well aware of the Church's teaching on modest dress. I do not disagree with it in any way, shape, or form. I do, however, believe that it can be taken to extremes. This post expresses those beliefs.

Since getting my body back into shape, most of my clothes are a bit too big. I finally got some jeans that fit (but even those will need to be smaller soon. Nothing is more unattractive than baggy jeans.) I have been slowly replacing pieces of my wardrobe as I see things that are on sale or that I like. I mean, we're not making millions so I can't just afford to run and out buy a magnificent wardrobe every time I lose weight. So I'm trying to wait it out a bit.

But our five year anniversary is coming up in less than a month. And with that anniversary comes our getaway! Yay! One of the reasons I started letting Christi kick my butt way back in the beginning of June is because I wanted to buy an amazing dress for our anniversary. I want to look super good when we go out for our nice dinner to celebrate five wonderful years of marriage. I want to feel good about myself, and I pretty much want to knock Brian's socks off.

So, I've been looking for dresses online just to see what's out there. I will probably actually purchase one in person (because I can't buy a dress online. No telling how certain areas will fit) in about two weeks or so. And of course, whenever shopping for any item of clothing anymore, the question of modesty always pops into the back of my mind. What is okay to show? What's not okay to show? Does this dress cross the line? Is it too short? Too tight? It's maddening!

When Brian and I were dating, I feel I dressed way more modestly than I do now. We weren't married, and there were just certain things that should be kept a secret at that point. I certainly did not wear a habit, but I made it a point to make sure I pretty much dressed like the infamous Sister Wives of TLC do on a daily basis.

These days, I do things a little differently....at least on date nights when Brian and I get out without the kids in tow. On those nights, I want to look a little extra special for him. He comes home to find me in jeans and a tshirt or sweatshirt and doesn't see me looking that put together that often anymore. (Side note: I take great pride in putting on make up and straightening my hair every morning, so it's not like I look like I just rolled out of bed. I'm just dressing way more casually on a daily basis than I did when I taught every day.) I want to take the time out to make myself look extra nice and to make him interested. We get so caught up in being Mom and Dad every day that sometimes we forget what it means to be husband and wife.

I don't feel I dress immodestly, but I tend to leave a little less to the imagination on date nights. Brian and I are married now after all! I always try to keep it classy and not trashy, and Brian has always said that if he found something I was wearing immodest, he'd let me know. And I fully believe he would say something, even it meant sleeping on the couch that night. ;) But I honestly think that with your husband, different rules apply for modesty than if you're going out with just the girls.

I have looked at a few dresses that have long sleeves and cover from my knees to my neck. (Our anniversary is in October, and we are going to be lakeside so it could be chilly) But I know Brian's not into that. And it's really not my style either. I want to show off some of my hard work from the gym this summer. Does that mean I have to dress like a street walker to accomplish that? Absolutely not. But I do believe there's a point at which one can be too modest and too worried about making sure absolutely nothing is showing. 

That point of view is great and well and good in dating. (And trust me, if we are ever blessed with daughters, there will be strict rules about what is appropriate and what isn't.) But sometimes I think it's okay to dress to show yourself off when you're going out with just your husband. It's good to get him interested. It's good for him to think you're amazing and beautiful. It's wonderful for him to look at you as the woman he fell in love with and not just a tired, worn out Mommy (which is how I feel I look at the end of most days.) It's good to feel like you look amazing. Those things are all okay. We are certainly not called to hide away our bodies. (Nor are we called to let it all hang out!)

I'm not writing this because I think the world is too modest. Oh my, no. The world is way too far in the opposite direction. But sometimes as a wife, I need to make sure I'm not going too far the other way. There has to be a happy medium. I hope to find that when shopping for a dress in the next few weeks. In the end, as long as it turns Brian's head, that's all that matter. And it's a good thing if the dress I finally decide on for our anniversary leaves him speechless, too.