A Big Boy Room

Today was the BIG day. The bunk beds arrived and were assembled by the fantastic delivery team. (We had originally ordered the beds from IKEA, but after 8 hours of pain and sweat from my dear husband and mom, we determined that not only did the holes not line up in certain places but in other places the holes were not drilled correctly at all and wouldn't allow the pieces to go together. So we sent them back and went to Value City. There we found even nicer beds and found out that the delivery men actually assemble the beds! Score!) I rushed home from work early this evening in order to get the room all decorated and set up before Brian brought the boys home from previewing the new train exhibit at the science center.

The beds are great, and the Steelers room looks great! We ended up getting thinner mattresses than what are normally sold for twin beds and that allows Matthew to have a protective railing on the top bunk. We moved Matthew to a toddler bed when he was 22 months old, but we felt like Noah was ready to move. And Matthew was definitely outgrowing his toddler bed. So we decided to make the move out of the crib earlier for Noah at 18 months. We were nervous at first, but at bed time tonight, I tucked him in and he snuggled right under his covers with his new pillow and fell fast asleep. No crying and no fuss. And Matthew, well he was just super excited to finally have the bunk beds to sleep in. He loves the fact that Noah sleeps below him. We are beyond happy that we chose the bunk bed route for the boys. It's a huge space saver and at the same time, gives them more room to sleep comfortably. And you can never go wrong with a Steelers theme in the Burgh. :)

Enjoy the excessive photos that are about to appear below. :)

Bunk beds!

A baby blanket makes a great curtain!

I bought this light switch plate in high school, and my parents let me take it to use for the boys.

Awesome rug from Walmart.

Our Icon Corner still stands. :)

Matthew's top bunk and his new bunk bed bear that we built this past weekend named Troy.

I've also had this license plate decoration since high school. Goes great above the boys' door. (Don't worry. Their crucifix stands on the night stand. It was blessed by JPII.)

I designed their new name posters and had them printed at Staples on foam board.

Noah's bottom bunk and his new bunk bed bear that we built this past weekend, Heath. 

I had a blast decorating, and hopefully, the boys will have a blast sleeping in it. :) Good night!

JFK Anniversary

Lately I have been fascinated with reading up on and learning details about JFK's assassination. This coming Friday marks the 50th anniversary of the horrible event, and many television networks have been showing specials throughout the past several days. I am beyond intrigued. I really, really want to solve the mystery.  I even found myself going through the details I had learned while running my 5K on the treadmill yesterday!

Clearly, I will never solve this mystery. No one will. I don't believe at all that the government and the CIA all got together and planned his assassination. The government can't even launch a health care website correctly. I highly doubt they could pull off a cover up that big. And let's face it. Someone would've talked. Someone always does for enough money. No, the government absolutely had nothing to do with it. Plus, Kennedy was already going down a path to self demise. Sure, we talk about how amazing and wonderful he was. But let'ts not forget about the Bay of Pigs (epic failure) and the Cuban Missal Crisis (coming just minutes from the brink of nuclear war does not make one a hero). Oh and then there were all of his mistresses. That speaks well for the young president. (not.) Plus he had even wanted to put the Civil Rights Bill (that he had campaigned on) on the back burner for a while until the governor of Alabama forced him to start fighting for such legislation earlier. His first few years in office were not as dreamy as everyone seems to believe. If the government wanted to get rid of him they didn't have to kill him. They could have just let him self destruct and get him out when the time for reelection came. Pulling off his assassination would be too hard.

But I don't think Oswald fired the fatal shot either. I do believe Oswald hit JFK in the back of neck and the bullet traveled through his throat, but I don't think he fired the shot that killed him. The shot that killed Kennedy exploded when it made contact with his head. The first bullet did not explode. Oswald had one weapon, a mail order rifle. So clearly his weapon was not capable of shooing exploding bullets. That meant the bullet had to come from somewhere else.

I watched several interviews over the weekend with ex FBI agents, and one theory made a ton of sense. There was a young, new agent working for Kennedy at the time of the assassination. Some may have even called him inexperienced. His name was George Hickey. Hickey was riding directly behind JFK's limo in the front of a car. Once the president was shot the first time and slumped toward Jackie, eyewitnesses have said they saw Hickey jump off the car that he was riding on and stumble as he was pulling his high powered weapon into his hands. Some have said that during this stumble, they witnessed the gun go off, and this is the bullet that fatally struck JFK in the head. The weapons used by the FBI at the time included a new type of assault weapon that shot out bullets that exploded once they hit the target. This explosion was meant to be fatal. Thus, when Hickey accidentally discharged his gun, the bullet struck JFK in the head and caused the massive explosion.

So I guess if I truly believe that Hickey fired the fatal shot, then I do believe in some sort of government cover up. But I guess it was more of an FBI cover up than an intentional plot to kill the president.

I guess we will never really know what went on that day. (I have a feeling Jackie saw a lot more from her position in the limo than what she ever talked about. But I'm also sure she was in shock the entire time and apparently was pretty obsessed with gathering JFK's head pieces in order to "put him back together.") It was a tragic day in our country for sure. As the anniversary approaches, I will continue to watch all the specials and interviews and piece together the puzzle for myself. At the end of the day, however, I just pray that such a dreadful attack never happens again in our country.

God bless America!

Five Faves

The blog has been a little quiet lately. I've been too tired and actually just too busy to actually have the time to sit down and write a post. I've thought about it several times but our days have literally been nonstop activity. And nap time has been spent with me reorganizing the house and prepping the boys room for the big transformation to bunk beds that is set to occur this Saturday. Anyways, before I get my ab exercises done, I thought I'd pop on and write about my five faves this week.

1. Gratitude from my students

The second grader I tutor had a writing assignment to write a thank you note to someone and she chose me! I was honored and really flattered. It was so sweet of her and the note is now hanging on our fridge in the midst of the kids' artwork. What a great motivator when I find myself losing steam as the holidays approach quickly.

2. Gymsport Open Gym Play Time

About once or twice a month, I take the kids to Gymsport, a local gymnastics gym. They offer preschool open gym Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 9-12. It is $5/child/hour. We usually go from about 10:30-11:30 and then stay around afterwards to eat our lunch at the tables provided there. The boys LOVE it. They can run, jump, bounce, climb, and do so many fun things without getting in trouble for it. As the winter approaches, it is great to have something so close to our house and so cheap to go and do get their energy out.

3. Philip Rivers

So, he's not a Steelers quarterback, but he is an AMAZING, devout Catholic who is an awesome witness to the faith. He and his wife has six children and they speak out about why couples should use NFP. I saw a video online recently of an interview he did speaking about NFP and why he and his wife use it. It is honest and sincere. My favorite quote from the whole thing is this:

 “For us it was a Church teaching, so you have to do it. As you obey...then you start to understand and see the fruits of it (NFP) in your marriage.”

Take five minutes and check out the video here. 

4. Sales

Last Thursday night, Brian just happened to be on Craigslist when an ad for a wooden train table with accessories popped up for only $40. And it was literally 15 minutes from our house. We jumped and were able to purchase this gem the next day! Now, we have an awesome, usually very pricey, Christmas gift for a fraction of the price! Also, this past Friday, the boys and I had a little extra time after we were done at the gym and between when we needed to be at our next activity, so we wandered around the shops at the shopping center where the gym is located. I found Brian a pair of really nice dress shoes that originally cost $100 on sale for only $40! They were the only pair in his size, and he loves them. He can't get over how comfortable they are. I was also able to pick up a Jingles the Dog DVD and book for Matthew at Hallmark. (Both are Christmas gifts.) The book was $10 and the DVD was $10. After coupons, I paid only $11 for both. Awesome! And I was able to buy them without Matthew knowing I did so. He loves Jingles and will be excited for his new book and DVD.

5. This picture from after the circus on Sunday night.

I mean, how can you  not smile?

Have a great night!

7 Quick Takes

I sit at the end of this week just completely devoid of energy. Technically right now, I need to be getting my rear in gear and working out with Jillian Michaels since I missed the gym today and yesterday, but I just don't have the energy. Instead, catching up on blogs and actually blogging on my own blog seems much more appealing.

1. All Saints Day

Today is All Saints Day, and it is by far one of my favorite feast days in the Church year. What I think is particularly cool about today is that it is a day when we celebrate ALL the Saints of the Church, known and unknown. Everyone in Heaven is a Saint, but some have not been declared Saints by the Church. So it's nice to have a day like today when we recognize those who have reached their eternal reward. Someone told me yesterday that they would be remembering Abby today when they were at Mass, and the comment made my day. 

2. Halloween

In all, the boys attended two Halloween parties (three if you count Zoo Boo), and trick or treated for a good hour last night. The weather could have cooperated better, but the rain just made things more interesting. We made it through one whole street and then headed home. Somehow between all the events, we now have enough candy to last us a lifetime. Seriously, it is insane. And most people in the neighborhood where we go give out full size candy bars or packages of candy. I am going to gain ten pounds just looking at it all. 

The morning of Halloween before the Preschool Party.

Mike and Sully ready for trick or treating.

 3. Noah joins Preschool

Matthew's preschool party was on Thursday morning, and I am a homeroom mom, so I stayed to help out. Of course, Noah had to tag along as well. He was intimidated at all. In fact, when it was story time, he just pushed through the crowd and plopped down right next to Matthew and continued to listen to the story. He fit right in.

4. The Weight Game

I had a doctor's appointment this past week (two actually), and I had gained five pounds in six months. Gasp! I wasn't all that freaked out. In fact, I kind of expected it. I have been training with Christi, and I am definitely losing inches, but I'm also gaining major muscle. And muscle weighs a lot. Anyways, the second doctor was quite concerned and really had me worried. Christi tried to give me a good pep talk, but I was still feeling all chubby and yucky. Then, at the gym on Wednesday an older man who hadn't been there in about a month was suddenly back working out. (The gym I go to is pretty small and you start to recognize the people who work out when you do. You make small talk sometimes, too.) And he stopped me and very sincerely proceeded to tell me how impressed he was that I had lost all the baby weight and then some. What a nice thing to say! And I sooooooo needed to hear that. I am nowhere near my prepregnancy weight. But I feel like I am actually healthy for the first time in my life. If I keep working with Christi, I'll get leaner, too. And the best part? The OB okayed my entire workout with Christi (including my 5K) to continue during pregnancy in a few years when, God willing, we decide to have another baby.

5. A Friendly Visit

Last weekend Matthew's Godfather came to visit. We had a very busy weekend, and we had a lot of fun. I am quite certain he went home way more exhausted than when he arrived. Matthew loved having him visit. And it was adorable when after Mass on Sunday he proudly walked over to Father Jim and said, "This is my grandfather." He meant Godfather, clearly, but it was oh so cute since his godfather is nowhere near old enough to be a grandfather!

6. Monsters University

Monsters University came out on DVD this past Tuesday, and the boys and I could not wait to bring it home. I never thought I would be one of those parents who runs to the store the first day something is released, but I am! Monsters University is really such a cute and fun movie. I was anxious to get to see it again. I think I even like it better than the first. And the boys love it. They enjoy sitting and watching it and also trying to scare each other like the students in Scare Class. I would highly recommend watching it.

7. Bam!

The following sums up everything about why we use NFP:

 

Have a fantastic weekend!

DIY: Fall Treats

Last Friday kicked off a week of events where someone in our family was required to attend some function and was also required to bring some sort of food item to the function. Since most of the events had to do with Halloween coming up, I felt the need to get crafty and creative. I chose a pumpkin theme because Noah's new favorite word is, "bumbkin." It's pretty cute when he says it and is way better than the "baba" he used to use to describe them. Anyways, here's a few of the things I've whipped up. They are beyond easy.

1. Pumpkin Cupcakes

These bad boys were already featured on my last 7 Quick Takes, but I had to post them again. You can use any kind of cake mix you want. (I may have even cheated and used the boxed kind. Seriously, I have 0 time for making cakes from scratch. I'd rather nap. lol) Then, you use food coloring to dye all the icings the correct colors. The face is made completely out of triangles, which are so easy to make with the right icing tip. Simple, simple, simple. And they tasted delicious. People at my dad's fundraiser really enjoyed this dessert option.

2. Pumpkin Cups filled with Goldfish

Matthew was assigned the snack in preschool for today, and since it was so close to Halloween, we decided to stick with that theme for our snacks. I bought 5 ounce Dixie Cups, and Matthew helped me paint them orange. (It was a great afternoon project.) Once they dried, I drew on pumpkin faces (with a Sharpie), again using all triangles. I mean, I have no artistic ability whatsoever and making these faces was super easy. Then, we filled the cups with Goldfish crackers (you can use any snack you want), covered them in Saran Wrap, and tied them off with green ribbon to look like stems. Again, so very easy. The treats apparently brought lots of smiles to his preschool class, and we had a great time making them.

3. Pumpkin Huggies

Matthew and Noah attend the same Toddlerobics Class on Wednesday mornings. Tomorrow, all of the kids are wearing their costumes, and there will be a mini trick or treat session. Matthew picked out the Huggies, and to make them more exciting and seasonal, we drew on pumpkin faces (again with a Sharpie) and then glued on green, paper stems. It literally took all of 20 minutes. We think they are really cute, and I think his classmates will enjoy receiving them tomorrow.

Well, those are my three DIY's for the Fall/Halloween season. I always look for very easy, kid friendly ideas. Or if I find an idea that's not kid friendly, I try to make it that way or find some part of it that Matthew can participate in. He enjoys helping, and it makes the the time we have just he and I before his nap much more enjoyable as well. Happy crafting! :)

7 Quick Takes

The blog has been pretty quiet recently. I've found lots of things I'd love to write about, but I just haven't had time. Since we returned from our anniversary getaway, life has been crazy. And next week looks even crazier. So I had to take a break from all the craziness today and share my seven quick takes. I apologize in advance for the photo bombing that's about to begin.

1. Matthew has outgrown his toddler bed, and Noah has almost outgrown his crib. So we had some major decisions to make about the bed situation. We plan on moving in the spring and buying a house (God willing), but until then, we will need to set them up in this house for sleeping. After a lot of research and discussion, we decided to go with bunk beds. This means that Noah will completely skip the toddler bed phase, and I am okay with this. We found a black wooden bunk bed frame from IKEA, and we will add a bed rail to the bottom bunk to keep Noah safe. I had so much fun ordering the kids bedding this week, and I have been picking up wall decorations when I see them to redecorate their new room. Goodbye, Elmo and Pooh. Hello, Steelers! :) It is going to be great. :)

 

2. Matthew's first preschool pictures came in this week, and they are adorable! I love the group picture the most. The picture is adorable and so funny. I love how Mary is behind them all. It's awesome.

3. I am obsessed with Sara Evans' new video, Slow Me Down. She is by far my all time favorite singer. I have met her twice and seen her in concert numerous times. She is one of my idols, and it has been three years since she put out new music! That's too long. Take a second to check it out. You will be happy you did. :)

Me and Sara Evans in August of 2004....wow I'm old!

4. I made some time this week to bake for my dad's company's Cash Bash fundraiser tonight. They do a dinner buffet and dessert table and are always looking for donations for the dessert table. Since I love to bake and inherited my grandma Kay's baking skills, I always volunteer. This time around, I came up with the cupcakes below. Seriously, they were soooooo easy to make. And they're cute. 

5. Brian gave me the sweetest, most romantic anniversary card ever last week. Most of it will remain private, but I just had to share the fact that inside the card he taped two tickets to a football game we had attended 6 days into our relationship. Later that day, we prayed together for the first time and later that night, we said I love you for the first time. It is a day I will never forget....and apparently Brian didn't either. I didn't even know he still had the tickets. It really made my anniversary. 

6. Matthew gave one of his closest friends a birthday gift this week. He loved the entire process of gift giving. He had such a blast picking out the present, wrapping it, decorating the card, and then finally presenting the gift. It was so cute to see how much joy he had in the whole process. At the end, he totally attacked his friend with a hug. He's a little more of a hug person than she is apparently, but it was still cute. If only arranged marriages were still the in thing....

7. This picture pretty much sums it all up. This is my goal at the end of the day. I fail almost daily and sometimes hourly at doing this, but I am trying. And I saw this graphic on facebook a few days ago and just really liked it. I think we will be using it in our talk on NFP. It says it better than I ever could.

Have a fantastic last weekend of October! Time is truly flying by! :)

Our Anniversary Getaway

This past Friday, Brian and I left town around 1pm and headed up the Wine Trails just north and East of Erie in North East, PA. We didn't return until around 2pm on Sunday, and we had the most incredible time together. It was so peaceful and romantic and just the perfect way to celebrate five years of marriage. It is so easy in our crazy, hectic weeks to go days without really having a full conversation. Our lives are filled with quick kisses and a "make sure you do ____ for the kids," in between jobs and activities. It was a great delight to have 48 consecutive hours together alone. We spent a good deal of money to make this weekend happen, and we would do it again in a heartbeat. (We may already be discussing ideas for our ten year anniversary.) We know that weekends like the one we just experienced are rare, but also so important. And we know they will be easier to make happen once the kids get older. For now, we are holding tight to our great memories from the past weekend. Here are some pictures from our awesome weekend. :)

I started off the weekend early by sending Brian a balloon bouquet at work the Thursday before our anniversary. Note to every female coworker he has: He is totally taken. ;) lol

The cute computer background I found waiting for me when I got home from work on Thursday night. :)

The gorgeous, long stem roses Brian had waiting for me in our suite at the B&B. I love pink roses!

All dressed up for a fancy dinner in my new, smaller dress from White House Black Market. Thanks, Christi, for helping me get into shape!

After dinner selfie on the night of our anniversary. Filet Mignon is delicious!

Our king sized bedroom with a built in fireplace. :)

Whirlpool bathtub. :) We had a sitting room, too, but I forgot to photograph that.

Wine sippy cups do exist. :)

Best selfie of the whole trip. Wine tasting is fun. :)

Our haul from the wineries. (We also bought two additional bottles as gifts.) I think we visited about a dozen wineries total.

All of the cards and gifts from our fifth anniversary. We are very blessed.

We both agreed that we really do love being married. Our favorite part? The fact that we can dress it up like we did for our anniversary dinner but then run home and get in our sweats faster than you can count to ten so we can be "comfy." We also both enjoy the fact that we love sports and just enjoy sitting back and watching college football on Saturdays when the kids are napping. And the biggest thing we love? The fact that we share our Catholic faith. That's pretty darn cool.

I Could Never Love You Enough

Five years ago today, I married my best friend and the love of my life. So much has happened in those past five years, and we have lived every part of our vows. We brought two beautiful sons into the world, and said goodbye to one beautiful daughter. We've laughed and cried and seen the best and the worst in each other. Through it all, I wouldn't want to have anyone else by side besides Brian. He is kind, patient, understanding, caring, loving, compassionate, faithful, and the list could go on and on. I am beyond blessed and so thankful that he chose me to be his wife and partner throughout this journey of life. When I envisioned my husband, I never imagined someone so perfect and so right for me. He is my better half and together we are complete. Without him, I couldn't be the woman or mother I am today. I love him beyond belief and have fallen more in love with him each day since our wedding. I cannot wait to spend many, many more anniversaries with him by my side. Today, I am beyond blessed. God is good. I really Could Never Love You Enough. :)

I heard so many times "You've got to take love slow"
Well, that's just something said by unsure people who don't know
What it's like to fall when you fall with all your heart
Wantin' to be together every second you're apart
Must not know what it feels like to feel like this
Longing for each other moment, waiting for each kiss

I could never love you enough

I could never hold you too tight

Never give too much of my heart

Never spend too many nights

With my arms just wrapped around you

And a million stars above

Baby, I still can't believe I found you

I could never love you, never love you enough

 

Seems like the time we're given always goes too fast

Before I know it with you girl the future is the past

Seconds turn to hours, the hours turn to days

It seems like you're always leavin' when I'm wantin' you to stay

Cause I could spend the rest of my life with you mine

And still it'd only be like a few seconds in time

 

I could never love you enough

I could never hold you too tight

Never give too much of my heart

Never spend too many nights

With my arms wrapped around you

Underneath a million stars above

Baby, I still can't believe I found you

I could never love you, never love you enough

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

Today, October 15, is recognized nationally as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. This day is very near and dear to my heart, as most of you can imagine. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), I also know a lot of other Mommas who hold this day near to their hearts as well. So in honor of this day, I thought I'd give a few tips (who doesn't love unsolicited advice?) about what you can do to reach out and help someone who has suffered the devastating loss of a baby.

1. Don't pretend like the loss didn't happen.
Okay, so it can be really nerve wracking and awkward when you see someone for the first time after they have just lost a baby. A lot of people go right into the "I'll just pretend like nothing happened" mode. While I totally understand the reasoning why many people do that, it hurts more than you can ever imagine. The fact is that a baby died. That person's child passed away. They are hurting and grieving and trying to move on with life and find some sense of normalcy. Sure they may have come back to work or the gym or shown up at a play date with their living children, but that doesn't mean they aren't thinking about and hurting about the loss of their baby all day long. So don't just pretend like everything is normal. Reach out. A simple, "I am so sorry for your loss," does wonders. Trust me.

2. Do offer your help.
Ask the person if they need anything. Perhaps a meal would be great since getting off the couch to make dinner is almost impossible during the initial grieving process. Or offer to provide childcare if they have other children. Offer to run some errands for them or even with them. Offer to clean. Whatever you can think of to do, offer. It means the world to have people want to help, and it leaves the person who has experienced the loss feeling less alone.


3. Don't shut out the ones who have experienced the loss.
Who cares if the ones who have experienced the loss are extremely sad or just Debbie Downers for a while. Invite them to gatherings with others. Invite them out to do fun things. And after you invite, keep on them to make sure they show up. It is so easy when you lose a baby to lock yourself away from the outside world (I'm pretty sure Brian decided that we should watch an entire marathon of America's Next Top Model instead of go to a college basketball game). Don't let your friends do that. And don't shut them out. Keep including them just like before the loss. They will be happy again, and the happiness may even return sooner if you keep including them in normal, fun social events.

4. Do remember their baby and ask about their baby.
Ask if they named the baby. Talk about the baby whenever you feel it appropriate. Don't worry if you make someone cry. Sometimes that happens. But I can assure you that the person crying is also jumping for joy that you remembered their little one who is gone too soon. Take note of the baby's death date and birth date/due date. Send a text or facebook message on those days. It doesn't have to be profound. A simple, "I'm praying for you and (enter baby's name here) today. Let me know if you need anything."

Also, help brainstorm ways that they can memorialize their baby. Suggestions like getting a ring with the baby's birth stone, or finding a memorial wall where they can place a brick for their baby are great. Other things include donating to a charity in the baby's name or even starting a charity in remembrance of the baby lost. 

5. Don't try to minimize the loss.
Don't say things like, "Well, at least you lost them before you got to know them or hold them." Don't say, "At least the baby didn't suffer." Recognize the loss. A baby is a baby is a baby. Losing one at any point is devastating. If you aren't sure what the right thing to say is, a simple, "Sorry for your loss," is always best. Those words may seem so overused, but they are meaningful and let the person know that you recognize that their baby was a person and that a great loss has occured.


6. Do be patient and sensitive.
Allow the person to work through the grieving process in their own time. There is no time table for grief. In fact, some days I still cry about Abby. Allow time to heal some wounds. Offer words of support and encouragement (cards are great for this) and sit back and wait. Let your friend know you will be there at the end of it all and when they decide they are ready to talk to you or need you. Listen to your friend cry over and over and over again if that is what is necessary. Just let time take it's course and be supportive. Trust me. The person knows you are on their side and it brings them great comfort to know you will still be their friend when the sadness eases. Plus, everyone grieves differently. Patience takes the pressure off of the person to feel like their time to grieve is up at a specific point. It allows them to do the grieving process their way.

7. Even if you say nothing at all, please pray.
Sometimes you still just don't know what to say to someone who has lost a baby. That's okay. And it's normal. However, you can storm Heaven with prayers for the person's comfort and for their baby. Prayers were what got Brian and I through the loss of Abby without totally losing our marriage or our minds in the process. They held us together. We were blessed to have so many people praying for us, and those prayers made all the difference. They still do today. Never underestimate the power of prayer. Sometimes a simple Hail Mary is better than any words that can be spoken. Prayers do wonders.


8. Some Books that are Helpful (You may want to purchase one for the person and send it to them.)
Life Giving Love by Kimberly Hahn (I'm not sure a huge fan usually, but this book talks about the losses of several of her babies and gives great advice for helping people grieve.)
Letters to Gabriel by Karen Santorum (Karen writes letters to her unborn son, Gabriel, until the day he is still born, and for the weeks following. It is a beautiful expression of love and anyone who has lost a baby can definitely relate.)
We Were Gonna Have a Baby, but We had an Angel Instead by Pat Schwiebert (This book is great for explaining to little kids what has happened when a baby is lost. It is also very healing for parents.)

I am in no way an expert about pregnancy and infant loss, but I have survived it. It was a very dark time in my life, and every year on this day, I look back at just how far I have come. Lots of people stepped up to the plate to help me come through losing Abby. Lots of people are still there for me today. And the more women I meet, the more I find others who have walked in my shoes. It still breaks my heart when I hear from a friend that she has recently suffered the loss of a baby. I hate it. It is a common occurrence and happens more often than we realize. I am forever thankful for each and every friend (new and old) in my life. In their own special ways, they have all been there to help me through losing Abby, both when it initially happened and still today. It means the world. So thank you to all of you. I would not be where I am in rebuilding my new normal without you all.

So why the post today? I always want good to come out of us losing Abby. I never want her death to be in vain. One good thing that has come out of losing her has been a deeper understanding of suffering and why we are called to do so. But more good can still come from her death. I hope the things mentioned above may be used to help others who have felt a loss like mine.

On that note, please consider lighting a candle at 7pm tonight and burning it for one hour. It creates an international wave of light, so as one time zone blows out their candles, the next time zone is lighting theirs. The wave of light is a way to honor our babies lost and to bring awareness to pregnancy and infant loss.

And one last thing, this post is dedicated in loving memory of all the babies lost too soon, but especially in memory of Abby and her cousin, Jack. I know they are watching over us all in Heaven, and that thought, most days, makes me smile. We love you, guys. :)

How NFP has made Me Miserable....Not!

Today the Diocese of Pittsburgh celebrated its second annual NFP Awareness Day. Since Brian and I are trained NFP promoters we were once again responsible this year for doing something at our parish to promote the day. We pray it was successful.

However, just yesterday I read a description of a book entitled The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning. And I have to say that I found the description incredibly offensive. (Disclaimer: I have never read the book and since I have been so offended by just the description, I probably won't waste my time.) If you care to read it, you can click here. I particularly took offense with the idea that practicing NFP has now somehow made my life "awful" or that I am "miserable." Now, is our marriage rainbows and sunshine because of NFP? No. But even without NFP our marriage would not be that way. Marriage is hard. The fantasy of holding hands at sunset dies the minute the first child comes along.

But let's deal with the fact that apparently this book is for those who are miserable and have an awful life because of using NFP. This just disgusts me. Is NFP hard? Some days, yes. Is it a cross? Yep. I already blogged about that. But has it made my life awful? Um, no. Not at all! Many things could make my life awful. In fact, after Abby died I tend to think of that time in my life as truly awful. Grieving the loss of a child is something I would not wish on my worst enemy. That was the definition of awful. Using NFP? Not so much.

And as Brian and I discussed, there are many things that make me miserable. Not getting more than 4 hours of a sleep for a week. Lots of cancellations for tutoring slots. Days straight of clouds and rain. A really bad headache or sinus infection. Feeling sick to my stomach for the first 16 weeks of every pregnancy. Not being able to work out four days a week. (Let's face it. I'm a pretty pessimistic person, so that list could go on and on and on, but I will spare you.) Using NFP? Nowhere near to being on that list. Even on the days when I find using NFP to be a cross, I don't feel miserable. And I certainly don't think my life is awful. I just feel like on that day I have a heavier cross to carry, and I rely more fully on the Lord to help me. But misery and pain don't come into play at all. Do I feel a little sad that I'm not nesting and getting out the newborn clothes? Yes, but that's a natural part of being a woman. Miserable and awful are just so far from an accurate description of the situation.

As Brian and I talked further about the statements in the book's description, we came to an interesting conclusion. We are using NFP. We live it, breathe it, fully embrace it. And here's the most awesome part. We feel at PEACE using it. We feel okay at the end of each day knowing we are postponing the next baby for now. We feel like we can breathe and don't feel massive amounts of anxiety about that decision. We are happy and content. We feel good about our decisions regarding family planning and can rest easy at night. But here's the thing. If we were miserable or did feel our life was awful because of the decisions we have made about family planning, it would probably be a HUGE wake up call for us.

Some decisions in life are not so black and white. They take great discernment and careful prayer and discussion. For us, deciding whether or not to have another baby at this point is one of those decisions. And NFP is something that shouldn't be used without careful prayer and consideration. Once we come to the conclusion each month that God isn't calling us to add onto our family at this point, we usually feel great peace with our decision to postpone a baby that month. It eases our mind.

If our minds did not feel at ease, and we were very unhappy and miserable, I think we'd know we were making a huge mistake and totally misreading God's plan for our family. So maybe those who feel they are miserable using NFP and who feel that their lives are awful are misreading what should be happening next in terms of their family planning. It seems to me that if someone doesn't feel at peace using NFP, then maybe that person needs to reevaluate things. God does ask us to suffer, yes. But to be miserable and think you have an awful life? I'm pretty sure God doesn't call any of us to live like that.

What's the point of this post? I guess just to say that Brian and I use NFP (as do many couples we know), and we are not at all miserable. We do not think our life is awful. We feel beyond blessed and quite happy with our marriage and the life we have built together. I have yet to meet someone who is absolutely miserable using NFP, and I really resent the book's description in implying that those who use NFP are bound to be that way. We need young couples in the Church to embrace NFP. Books with descriptions like that simply scare them off and make them turn quickly into the eagerly awaiting arms of artificial contraception. It turns them off.

I pray that on NFP Awareness Sunday many young couples will recognize the beauty and goodness that is NFP and learn to implement it in their marriage. I pray that Brian and I present an example of a couple who practices NFP with joy and contentment and respect for God's plan for our life. Even on the days we find it to be a cross, I hope we may always radiate the goodness that is NFP and show others how that goodness has strengthened our marriage. I pray we may never come off as miserable or actually feel that our life is awful.

On that note, happy charting!

7 Quick Takes

1. Our stove was red tagged last night. I thought all day that I had been smelling gas. And I felt like I could smell it everywhere. Before I left for tutoring, Brian came home from work and while he faintly smelled something in the kitchen, he did not smell it near as strongly as I did. My dad told us that we could call the gas company and they'd send someone to check for any leaks. (Seems like an obvious solution.) So Brian did that. And guess what? The stove was leaking gas. So, it's red tagged and we're waiting on parts to come in before we can fix it and use it again. Looks like the microwave and toaster oven will be the way to cook this weekend. In all seriousness, there was a huge house explosion caused by natural gas just across the border in West Virginia this morning (very close to where I attended school.) The house is leveled and one teenager died. We are very blessed and beyond thankful that the leak was detected before something awful occurred.

2. We headed to Soergel's Farm this morning to hang out with some moms from Mommy's Group. We didn't get to stay nearly as long as I had wanted (had to meet the stove repairman), but my boys had a blast. Noah ended up falling in a large mud puddle, and Matthew purposefully rolled in the same puddle. He then removed his pants and underwear while I was tending to Noah and was standing in the middle of the play area stark naked from the waste down. Parenting fail. But the good news is that they both had a wonderful time and loved the little break from the city.

3. This weekend is the Diocese of Pittsburgh's 2nd Annual NFP Awareness Sunday. Being trained NFP Promoters, Brian and I are responsible for doing something at our parish to promote NFP. We put up a large trifold board with all kinds of fun facts in the back of the church along with some pamphlets. We are also mentioned in the bulletin. And I have a strong suspicion that Father Jim will somehow weave NFP into his homily on Sunday and his homilies about NFP are pretty much the bomb. We are excited and ask for your prayers that many hearts will be converted this weekend and that many couples can recognize the goods the come from practicing NFP instead of artificial contraception.

4. After the repairman left this morning, the boys and I got crafty with our baby pumpkins that we picked up at the farm. (We will go to a different farm at the end of the month with my parents to get big pumpkins, so we opted to get the tiny ones this time around.) We decided to make bat pumpkins. We painted the pumpkins, glued on eyes and wings and now we have bat pumpkins. Matthew made the wings for his pumpkin. I had to help Noah. It was again, an easy and fun craft. I highly recommend trying it out.

5. Noah went to this ENT this week for his usual 6 month follow up. I already knew he had an ear infection before we got there, and we had started drops a few days before. Well, it turns out one of his tubes is completely blocked. And on top of the infection in his ears, he also has a pretty bad yeast infection going on in his ears, too. He is now on two sets of drops. We are praying that this clears the blocked tube and he can start into the colder weather with healthy ears. We really do not want to have to replace the tubes, and we are discouraged that they haven't worked as well for him as they did for Matthew. Please pray his ears get better quickly.

6. This weekend we are heading out to the Dormont Street Fair. I love the street fair. It is such a fun, free community event. (Well, it's not free for us because we definitely indulge in all the local food offered, but it doesn't cost anything to attend. :)) The boys love seeing all the fire trucks and playing in the kids area. Last year I met a politician who was a huge fan of Propel Schools, and he picked my brain for a while about why the Propel Way works. It was awesome. This year a local band, The Justin Fabus Band, will be performing. We first saw them open for the Hillbilly Way in January and April. The best part is....I went to high school with Justin and was in chorus class with him. Great guy. He has no clue who I am, but he was pretty popular back at KO. Everyone knew him. I am happy to see a local guy have a lot of success.

7.This past week, one of my students was having a hard time because his grandmother is dying. (They were actually taking her off of life support today, so offer a prayer for them.) His mom and I had a heart to heart with him, and during the conversation, I mentioned I had lost a daughter a few years ago. At this point, his mom starts crying. She, too, had lost a baby girl many years ago. And just like that: BOOM! Instant connection. We hugged and then made plans to meet for coffee next week. This family is truly wonderful and I work there three hours each week. I knew I always felt especially connected to them, and now I know why. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for prompting me to share so personally. I have gained another friend. :)

And on that note, have a happy, enjoyable weekend! :)