This past weekend was full of ups and downs emotionally. You know when you want something really, really bad but you just can't have it? It's like a carrot being dangled in front of you but you just can't jump high enough to get it. This past weekend we had one of those experiences. And me having the mentality of a princess at times, I got really upset and devastated that I couldn't have exactly what I wanted at exactly the time that I wanted. Without getting too personal (what?! I'm not spilling every detail of my life on this blog? How dare I! Sorry, folks. This is not the Real Housewives going on here!), it wasn't totally a necessity what I did not end up getting, but it would've made life a little easier and less stressful.
I spent a few hours and part of today just stewing over it and crying and getting mad. I think I even had a few not so nice conversations with God. But then, I took a step back to look at what I do have. Let's run through that happier list.
I have a cute little townhouse in which to live. Sure we rent. And yes it's not big enough to have more children in, but right now I'm not getting pregnant any time soon for many reasons, and we still have years ahead of us to have more babies. Renting isn't terrible. It is a little frustrating, but when the furnace broke last winter I didn't have to pay to fix it. That was kind of cool. So when things go wrong here, that's a YP (your problem....you can thank my old coteacher at Propel for that one) not an MP (my problem.) Major, major bonus. Plus, the townhouse is in a nice area and we have great, quiet neighbors. Oh, and did I mention our large back yard? With two energetic boys that's definitely a blessing.
We have a great parish to attend. St. Catherine of Siena rocks, and so does our pastor, Father Jim. Our kids idolize him, and Matthew pretends to be him on a daily basis. Our fellow parishioners adore our children, and our new associate pastor, Father Gary, is pretty cool, too. There was a time in my life when I thought I'd never find a devout, conservative parish with a great pastor. WRONG! My faith has been blessed by attending there, and I have grown spiritually in countless ways.
I have three amazing children. Brian and I have our angel in Heaven to watch over all of us. (Which is great because just this afternoon in the back yard, Matthew and Noah crashed into our fence in their Little Tikes truck and flipped over. Not a scratch on either of them. Thank you, Abby, for saving Mommy from a parenting fail!) And then we have our two, wonderful boys here on Earth. I'm not really sure what life was like before them, but I'm guessing it must've been pretty boring. They are so full of excitement and life. They do everything with great vigor and truly live each moment to the fullest. They are fun and have taught me more about life and how to live it than I ever imagined possible. I have loved them instantly since the positive pregnancy test, but I fall more in love with them each day. God has blessed us beyond belief with the lives of our children. They are the best gift I have ever received.
I have wonderful and supportive parents who live about five blocks away. They will drop anything at any time if we need (Yep, I have even called my mom at 2am when Matthew wouldn't stop crying or when he had croupe and couldn't breath and she comes right over), and we know we can always count on them.They love our boys to pieces and spend the majority of their time out of work with them. They rarely turn down a babysitting job (except on their anniversary. ;)) They will bend over backwards to help us and make me staying home during the day work. My mom is for sure my absolute best friend, and she wasn't expected to be around at this point in my life. Each extra day with her is really a blessing. She and Brian are the only two that can talk me down off of my dramatic cliffs some days. Having parents who love and care for us so incredibly much and who will give anything to help us means so much. Not everyone is so lucky.
Finally, I have the best husband a girl could ever ask for. Brian loves me for me. (So much so that when I'm crying about the last ten pounds of Noah that I cannot lose for love or money he simply lets me cry and then reassures me that I've only gotten more beautiful since having his children. And I'm pretty sure he's not lying....) He works hard at a job that is all consuming and requires way more hours in a day than he ever could have imagined. At one point he worked two jobs when I first started staying home with Matthew just to make sure we could make ends meet. He has jumped right into helping me with my business and even designed the logo and business cards for it without me asking. He puts my needs and the needs of our children first. He even lets me sleep until 7:30 on Saturdays, even though I'm sure he, too, could benefit from those extra hours of sleep. He gives so much of himself every day, and he's faithful beyond belief. I owe my sanity to him most days, and I love him more each day, too. Of the two of us, he is the better half.
Okay, so I really do have a lot to be thankful for. Now, most days I find it hard to remember and see things that way, so that's one of the reasons I wanted to write it all down. Most of you know me well enough know that I'm really a sunshine and rainbows and unicorns type girl. I find the glass half empty most times. However, on days when I'm busy having a jealousy inspired pity party, I can come back to this post and remember that I have a great husband, wonderful kids, amazing parents, and a cute place to live, and a wonderful parish to belong to. At the end of the day, isn't that everything? Yes, it really is.
And just cause I love my kids so much, here's a picture of them with their brand new pool toys from our trip to Dormont Pool on Saturday. :) They are my little fish!
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